Author: geoff

If something is pretty easy or lazy, we describe it as “cruisey”.

I think I know where the word comes from – being on a cruise.

If I said we did nothing today it would be the understatement of the year. Yesterday I started by reporting that we had done very little. I’m exhausted thinking about how much we did yesterday compared to today.

Today – Monday 07 November 2022 – we cruised around the fiords at the bottom of the South Island of NZ.

Milford Sound is probably the most famous (or well known) of those, with the others having names that I can’t say I’ve ever heard before.

I am pleased to report however that the other main fiord we travelled along was Te Awa-o-Tu (or Thompson Sound), which then became Doubtful Sound.

Today started like every other day, with one minor exception. Because we had an early start in Milford Sound – 7.00am – we set the alarm for 6.30am. For those of you who had to go to work today, let’s just say that we set our alarm today in solidarity with you!

Mind you, 6.30am here in NZ is only 3.30am at home in Brisbane, so I’d like to think that we were at and about long before any of you.

Up, showered, dressed and we were in the Horizon Court just around 7.15am for a light breakfast. As we sat in the restaurant we watched the amazing scenery of the fiords glide by.

Breakfast over and we went out on deck on Level 14 to look at the view.

Now there are two important things that I need to tell you at this point.

1. The last time we were on this ship (this actual ship, the Grand Princess), we sailed out of San Fransisco under the Golden Gate Bridge, and we drifted around Glacier Bay in much the same way that we are today drifting around Milford Sound.
2. Similarly to Glacier Bay, the photos of Milford Sound are a very poor second place to actually seeing it for real.

Actually, the other thing where Milford Sound had similarities to Glacier Bay is that it was FREEZING out on deck.

So cold. So, so cold. Cold enough to freeze the you-know-what’s off a brass monkey.

The scenery was breathtaking .. or maybe it was the cold that was breathtaking :). We sailed to the end of Milford Sound, then the ship did a quick U-turn and we sailed back out again.

Left turn at the end, down the coast for an hour or so, and we turned into Thompson Sound, which then became Doubtful Sound.

Just as spectacular, just as cold, and just as impossible to capture in a photograph.

Thompson/Doubtful Sound has the doubtful added bonus of rain … so it was mostly viewed from the safety of the inside of the dining area.

Thompson/Doubtful Sound also has the bonus that you can sail in one part of it, hang a sharp right-hand turn and sail out a different bit.

And I’m very sad to say that is about it for today. All very spectacular and beautiful, but not much in the way of achievement. We both felt a little under the weather today. My nausea has carried over from yesterday and both MBW and myself have had headaches and feeling fatigued. We both had a nap today after lunch, but still feel like a quiet night in.

We had dinner again at our favourite restaurant – Botticelli – and looked to see if we might go to the 7.30pm show. Funny thing is that it is a Dolly Parton tribute show, which happens to be the exact same show that we saw on a 3 night Country Cruise that we did just a few weeks ago.

And while it was an OK show, let’s just say that she is no Dolly Parton! And it wasn’t worth seeing again.

So we decided to hit a new high in decadent laziness, and we called it a night. Showers, into our Jim jams (it’s only 8.00pm) and we will watch one of the late release movies that they have available onboard.

We even ordered room-service coffee!

I’ve activated our NZ SIM card, so we are now also connected with the outside world again, and you will be getting updates on our travels! If you are reading this, then that means we got it all to work!

Early start tomorrow as we will be in Dunedin and we need to get out amongst it. The ship has arranged busses for the very reasonable* cost of $25/ea one way, or $35/ea return, for the short 7 miles (about 10-11km) trip to town.. I’m sure that I can get an Uber for less than the combined $70 bus trip.

(* That was sarcasm in case you didn’t recognise it).

I have to say that I am looking forward to having my feet on solid ground again.

That’s about it.

TTFN

#G&KDoNZ2022

If I said that today was a low-achieving day and we didn’t do much at all, I wouldn’t be kidding.

In fact, the effort and brain power required just to write the content so far in today’s post is probably more that I have used for the rest of the day.

But then I probably deserve a bit of a rest today. If you can believe everything that my smart watch tells me, I climbed 147 flights of stairs yesterday. That’s more that all the way to the top of the World Trade Centre in NYC. That’s pretty impressive … if it is correct.

To be fair, we never take the elevator whenever we walk around the ship, and we are on Level 8 with the Horizon’s Court eatery on Level 14, but 147 flights of stairs … ?

We are “at sea” today. Essentially in the middle if nowhere, somewhere between Melbourne and the south of NZ, surrounded by water. Considering that I get lost inside this ship – hey, I can get lost in a carpark – I hope that the Captain has a good GPS, or a good sense of direction.

We were up at about 8.00am this morning. I’m not proud of that, but it could have been worse, I guess. In my defence, it was only 5.00am in Brisbane and I think that my body clock is still stuck there.

Breakfast in the Horizon Court again this morning. I think I’ve finally come to the safe realisation that we will NOT run out of food or coffee, so I don’t need to consume my body-weight in food at every meal just in case.

The rest of the day was really very low-achieving. We went to a presentation on some of the ports where we will be stopping, drank coffee, read our books, and went to Bingo.

And when I say “went to Bingo”, we only watched. Actually participating in the game seemed like way more effort that we could be bothered with.

We went to the pizza restaurant for lunch and had a delicious pizza (each), and then headed back to E521 for a nap.

Neither of us has felt 100% today – I’ve felt like my stomach has been doing somersaults all day and I’ve had a raging headache. I’d suggest that it could have been caused by “something I ate”, because then there are many, many things that could be … I’ve eaten a lot.

Much more than I should have, and certainly much more than I needed.

But I suspect that it is the constant rocking and dipping of the ship. I don’t know how big/heavy this ship is (but I’ll find out), but it is incredible to think that such a massive vessel can be tossed around in the ocean. Or maybe it’s incredible to think that the waves are so big and powerful that they can have that effect on the ship.

In any case, it is hard to walk a straight line and you feel like you are constantly lurching from one side of the corridor to the other. Maybe it’s just a bit of seasickness? Or I haven’t drunk enough water? Or I need to get out on deck for some fresh air … but it is really, really cold and windy out there 🙁

We genuinely tried to do better this afternoon and went to the trivia challenge in the Explorer’s Lounge on Level 7 mid-ship. Mid-ship means that the rocking and rolling isn’t quite as pronounced.

20 trivia questions. We achieved the dizzying score of 7/20. Pretty sad really 🙁

At trivia I ordered a coffee – one of the “unlimited brewed” ones – to have it delivered to me in the Explorer’s Bar. After about an hour of waiting the status finally changed to “Delivered”, yet I never saw it and never got the benefits of the caffeine kick.

Given that disappointing outcome, we went instead to the Piazza and I ordered another coffee, which promptly arrived in no time.

There was a piano and violin duet (ensemble?) playing in the Piazza this afternoon, and they entertained us with some classical, selections from Shrek, and Peter Allen’s “I still call Australia Home”.

I have spoken so highly of the medallions that replace the old cruise cards. All you do is tap the medallion or order from the app, and stuff happens magically, with the money being charged to your account in no time.

They are linked to your photo and room number and so there is “no risk” of someone having a spending spree on your account should you lose your device.

Apparently.

So how come I ended up with two shore excursions booked to my account? I went to Gust Services and they couldn’t help, so they directed me to the Excursions Desk.

We had a conversation and they confirmed that I – Geoffrey Taylor – had indeed booked a shore excursion with my travelling companion, Murray someone from another room.

Now there are a couple of obvious flaws in that situation. Unless the other Geoff (TOG) is as exceptionally good looking as myself, I can’t believe that we could be mixed up. And I’m pretty certain that Murray is not my travelling companion.

Anyhow, the shore excursions were removed from my account, which means at least one thing, maybe two.

It means that I am no longer paying for TOG to do a shore excursion. It possibly also means that when TOG turns up to do his excursion, he could be disappointed …

Dinner last night was in Botticelli again, and once again it was very quiet. It seems that the midship restaurants seem to get the majority of the diners because they are more convenient … but that’s OK with me because it means less waiting for a table and quicker service.

The show in the Princess Theatre was Nathan Foley – he was quite good and certainly better than some of the other shows we have seen. He sang and played guitar and piano along with the Princess Big Band, and performed lots of songs from the ‘50s through to the ‘80s.

All the good stuff 🙂

By that time it was about 8.30pm and still bright sunlight, although we are quite a bit further south, so I guess that is to be expected.

We went back to Explorer’s and played a game of “We play it, you say it” where they play a portion of a song and you have to correctly write the next line.

That was being compèred by a couple of the entertainment crew, one of who was named Yuki and was very Asian. Some of the music categories included “Country Crassics” (Country Classics) and “Corraborations” (Collaborations).

All good fun.

I had a terrible migraine last night. Neck and shoulder tension, plus way too much food during the day. Then that coffee that I had after dinner really seemed to set me off and – by the time we got back to our room around 10.00pm – I thought I was going to be a porcelain warrior. Fortunately I managed to keep everything down.

I mentioned earlier that I climbed 147 flights of stairs yesterday. Well today I did 157 flights of stairs. I find that a little difficult to believe.

Tomorrow we will start our Fiordland cruising, through Milford Sound and all of the other Sounds.

It will be nice to see land again 🙂

TTFN

#G&KDoNZ2022

I want, no I NEED to start today’s post by saying that I voted against donuts this morning after breakfast.

Initially.

I voted against them initially. I didn’t want MBW to think that I don’t support everything she does, so I had a chocolate donut with my freshly brewed coffee, even though I didn’t want/need one.

That’s because I’m a team player.

But first let me roll back to yesterday.

I managed to get a quick post up yesterday afternoon before we lost all internet access. We left Melbourne about 5.00pm local time and sailed down the Mornington Peninsula and out through the headlands.

We met our captain last night, although you need to apply a pretty loose interpretation of the word “met”. He made an announcement over the ship’s PA system welcoming everyone onboard and telling us what to do in case we hit an iceberg. Hardly the type of instructions that you want when setting off on a 13 night cruise, but it is what it is.

Captain is Italian and has a very strong accent. You expect him to launch to “Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die”. They are probably different nationalities, but they sound similar.

Dinner last night was in the Botticelli restaurant. We didn’t really need to eat much after a three course lunch at 12.30, so I decided to exercise some restraint for dinner.

Botticelli is a beautiful Italian restaurant and we were served by Ferdinand from the Philippines. He has been on this ship since March 2022 – that’s 9 months straight – and his contract finishes at the end of November 2022, then he flies home to his family for a couple of months before starting his next contract.

Showing restraint for dinner meant that I only had:

• Freshly baked bread rolls with butter

• Pan seared garlic prawns

• Beef short ribs and vegetables

• Mango cheesecake.

My GP told me at my last checkup that she is worried about my weight and diabetic sugar levels … so I’m really going to give her something to worry about on this cruise! I mean, I pay a great deal for her advice, so I might as well get some value for money.

After dinner we went for a walk on deck to see if we had gone through the headlands (we hadn’t), but it was so bitterly cold outside that we couldn’t stay long. Instead we went to the Princess Theatre for the 7.00pm magic show. It was OK. One of those magic shows where you don’t think he is very good, although his act gets better as it goes along. I’ve seen better though.

I’m pretty sure that I knew the exact moment that we went through the headlands and hit the open seas. The magic show was just finishing and we were leaving the theatre, and the ship started pitching and rolling and it was no longer possible to walk in a straight line without holding onto something. This must be what it feels like to get drunk 🙁

8.15pm and back out onto the deck and it was still bitterly cold, so we went to look for the trivia show in the Explorer’s Bar.

Have you ever wondered what it feels like to have a genie in a lamp? You just rub the lamp (or in our case, click a few buttons on the Princess app), and coffee arrives hot and steaming.

For the first time Princess are using these medallions instead of ID cards, and they can pinpoint your location with uncanny accuracy. You order coffee, select all of the options, and shortly afterwards someone confidently walks directly to you without hesitation and puts coffee down in front of you.

How do they do that? It’s like magic!

I made another amazing discovery today too. WhatsApp works onboard the ship. Now you may be thinking “so what?”, but my phone is on Airplane mode, not connected to any Australian telephone network and no internet access. I’m only connected to the ship’s WiFi which is “in house” only, with no access to the wider internet … yet my WhatsApp is working.

Go figure.

As you may know we are headed to NZ which is 3 hours ahead of Brisbane and 2 hours ahead of Melbourne on DST. We were advised by Captain Indigo Montoya that he would be setting the ship’s clocks forward by an hour sometime after midnight last night, then forward another hour again tonight so that by the time we hit NZ we will be on the correct time zone.

We didn’t get to bed until well after 10.00pm last night, and that magically became 11.00pm after the clock adjustment, so let’s just say that I was not my best self this morning when I woke.

Before going to sleep last night I put out my walking clothes so I could do a good 10km walk before breakfast. I got up this morning, did the normal administrative jobs and put my walking clothes away unworn. It was all too hard.

At least I’m saving future washing effort.

After a disgusting display of gluttony and excess yesterday, I decided today I would be good – setting a good example for MBW.

She was still asleep, so I went in search of the coffee shop to sample the “unlimited freshly brewed coffee” … to see if it is truly unlimited.

There are no secrets aboard the Grand Princess. Remember I told you about the way that the staff can find you with uncanny accuracy due to the medallion? It turns out that your travelling companions can do the same – MBW just has to look at the medallion app and she can instantly locate where I am.

So when she woke and tracked me down, we decided that we would go up to the Horizon Court which is more like a buffet than a restaurant. Mostly the same food as the restaurants but you can take as much, or as little as you want. Or you can take exactly what you want.

You want 6 rashers of bacon with that hash brown? Fill your boots! No waiters there to judge you.

After a relatively light breakfast, we went out onto the back deck and sat in some sun loungers for a while. We ordered more coffee and realised how cold it was out on deck.

MBW read her book and I listed to some music.

This was around the time that we had donuts. It was way too cold sitting out on the open deck, so we moved to the sheltered side of the deck as far away from smoker’s corner as we could go, but it was still too cold.

We moved again to the nightclub – first time I have even been in a nightclub and MBW read her book while I had a short nap on the couch.

We wanted to participate in a word game in the Vista Lounge this morning. One of those games where one person (MBW) can see the word and has to describe it to the other person (me), who has to guess it. There were probably about 6 teams playing and after 3 rounds, we won the prize. A bottle of bubbly!

Yay for us.

Next on the agenda was Pictionary in the Explorer’s lane. I don’t know what everyone on the ship was doing but there was hardly anyone there to play.

MBW and I contributed our extensive drawing skills to our team and we won again! A couple of drink coasters.

Yay again!!

We headed upstairs to the Horizon Court for a light lunch and then back to our room for a nap.

Did I mention that this is the exact same ship that we were on for our Alaskan cruise 4 years ago? Or that we are in almost the same room?

Spooky.

We rested for an hour or so and then MBW read her book while I went to level 7 and did a few circuits of the walking track. Hardly strenuous exercise but then better than being my normal sedentary self and never moving.

Tonight was formal night, so we had booked for Botticelli Restaurant again. Got all dressed up in our finest clothes and had a lovely dinner. MBW had the duck a l’orange while I had the beef medallions.

Tonight was the champagne pyramid and we were introduced to all of the senior staff. One of these people is the ship’s captain … I’m pretty sure it’s the guy on the right but you never know …

After dinner was a show – very good, and certainly better than the magician. This was a collection of songs through the ages and the Princess Theatre was packed.

After the show we got coffee and went in search of the “Yes/No” game. MBW signed up to play. This is a game where you are asked questions by the host and have to go 3 minutes without saying yes or no. Of the 10 or so contestants, only one bottle of bubbly was won.

MBW had a crack and didnt last as long as we thought she would, but then she won a bottle of bubbly anyway for being a good sport.

Tonight we turn the clocks forward another hour, so 10.00pm magically became 11.00pm and I can already feel myself not getting enough sleep again tonight.

We got back to our room to find that our cabin steward had made a bear out of a towel – very cute!

It’s late, I’m tired and time for sleep.

For a quiet and relaxing cruise, I’m feeling exhausted.

TTFN

#G&KDoNZ2022

It’s been a funny day today. Feels like we had nothing to do but took us all day to do it …

We had a bunch of conflicting things that needed doing today that were all essential to getting on board the Grand Princess, but all seemed to be in conflict with each other.

Firstly we needed to take Casper home. We only had him for the two days and it was time to say goodbye. The problem was that Casper needed to go back to the airport (other side of town) and then we needed to get all the way back to Port Melbourne to check out of 139 Beach Street by 10.00, and yet we couldn’t check in our luggage until an unknown (not yet advised) time. And then we needed to get onboard the Grand Princess around 12.30.

I need a project plan and a schedule 🙁

So we took the ”divide and conquer” approach.

I was awake just after 6.00am, so I got up and did all of the required administration to ensure that I could be my best possible self, then fired up Casper and set Google Maps for the airport.

Fuelled up on the way at the grand price of $2.13/litre and dropped him back home before 8.00am.

All up we did about 350km in Casper. Yesterday’s trip to Portsea looked something like this.

Fortunately the shuttle bus to the airport was waiting, so I was at MEL just after 8.00am.

Showed my National Seniors card and tried to look old and frail – a task that seems to be getting easier by the day – and I was granted a senior’s ticket on the Skybus.

For some silly reason I thought that the bus would be empty, but it was as full as a state school hat rack – filled with selfish people who believed that their bag deserved a seat even though it hadn’t bought a ticket.

I finally found a seat upstairs next to a guy who was rather large … er, he had a considerable surface area. He was certainly taking up all of his seat and more than his fair share of mine too.

What was scary though was that he looked a bit like Kim Jong-un.

I was trying to figure out if he really was Mr Jong-un, while every fibre in the logical and rational part of my brain was telling me that it was unlikely that Kim Jong-un was actually in Australia, and if he was he would be unlikely to be on the Skybus travelling to the city.

The other thing that kept me occupied during the trip was that the guy sitting in front of me spent the whole 22 minutes trying to get his phone to connect to his Apple Airpods. He finally gave up …

There is a story in the Bible – Genesis 11: 1-9 where God disrupted the Babylonian’s building of the Tower of Babel by confusing the languages of the people so they could not understand each other.

I have to say that the Skybus felt a bit like I was there – everyone was talking different languages and it was impossible to understand anything that anyone was saying. At least I had the voices in my head to listen to that were speaking English …

We arrived in Melbourne CBD at Southern Cross Station and disembarked and I went in search of the place to buy my tram ticket back to Port Melbourne.

I tried the ”old and frail” trick again, but the tram guy was just to smart to fall for that trick 🙁 So I had to pay the full adult fare of $6.00 for a ticket and $4.60 for the ride.

I braved the traffic and waited to board the tram – something that I can’t recall ever doing before. Standing in the middle of a busy road on a little platform waiting for the tram to come rattling along.

Tram 109 finally arrived and I was back at Port Melbourne before 9.30am – a very tide effort if I do say so myself, because I wasn’t expecting to get back until after 10.00.

We gave the AirBNB a final thorough search to ensure nothing had been left behind; texted Dawn to say thanks and goodbye, and then took our luggage down to the cruise terminal and dropped it off.

So much achieved and it was only 10.15, but we couldn’t board until 12.30pm.

Nothing to do but go for a walk and have coffee at a little Italian place just down the road that was recommended to us, then a nice walk with MBW along the waterfront.

MBW likes jetties, so we found one at Port Melbourne and had a look.

I suspect that I am going to be expected to build a jetty in our backyard sometime soon 🙁

We walked back to the cruise terminal and it was ready for boarding. Because MBW is a Platinum member – I’m just a bottom feeder Ruby member – we both got priority boarding … along with about 600 other “special” members.

Onboard, and I have already broken my promise to myself that I will not over-indulge. Lunch was a three course meal with coffee followed by ice-cream up on level 14.

On the bright side we walk everywhere on the ship and I am up to 15,000 steps and 16 flights of stairs already, and it is not even 4.30pm.

After some pretty ordinary weather in Melbourne over the last couple of days, the city really turned on some warm weather and sunny blue skies this afternoon.

The sail away party starts soon – between 5.00 and 5.30 I think, and it will be nice to get out on the deck and take some photos.

That’s about it. If I don’t get this published in the next 30 minutes then the ship will have sailed – both figuratively and literally – and we will have entered a dark and scary place where there is no internet.

That’s about it. 4.30pm and MBW is dressed and ready for dinner. I’m fairly certain that if I keep eating at this pace, when I get back I will be twice the man I am now. And that’s not a good thing 🙁

TTFN

#G&KDoNZ2022

I’m thinking that I might donate my brain to science. Not yet – when I’m dead and no longer need it, that is.

It is a complex and amazing organ and there was a lot of stuff going on in there when I woke at 6.09am this morning. Lots of stuff, mostly related to the car. Lots and lots of things, all clamouring for attention and to be the prominent thought.

If only I could sell tickets to what goes on in my brain …

The first thought that I had was that 6.09am is only 5.09am Queensland time, and those lazy buggers in Queensland are probably still fast asleep.

But there were lots of thoughts about the car. We parked it directly outside 139 Beach Street Port Melbourne last night, and I wondered if it was still there. It would be hard to explain losing the car, especially after nearly losing it yesterday in Little … Something Street. I imagine that the insurance excess for losing the car would be pretty steep, too.

The next thought that I had was that it is still ”the car”. We always name our cars and we just haven’t got around to naming this one yet. We now have a name BTW, but you will need to wait for a bit later in the story to find out what it was.

I was still churning about that ridiculous, circular conversation with the Bargain people yesterday about the features in a compact car versus an intermediate car, and how – in my humble opinion anyway – a compact car would carry less luggage. Like a hatchback versus a sedan.

Which made me realise that the beaten up, sad Hyundai that they gave us – remember the one with the added features like a reversing camera and Google Maps – features that it didn’t actually have – that Hyundai was a sedan. The Corolla that we got – the new one with all sorts of technology included – was a hatchback … so maybe they got the last laugh because we paid for an intermediate but drove away in a compact.

Argh!

All of that got me to thinking about the old switcharoo that we had done at the last minute, and that made me realise that I didn’t have any paperwork for the vehicle (it’s in the car) and I don’t even know the registration.

Imagine if we had never found it yesterday. Can you imagine how the call to the police would have gone?

Me: I’ve lost my car

POPO: What make and model?

Me: Toyota Corolla

POPO: Colour?

Me: White

POPO: Year?

Me: No idea

POPO: Registration?

Me: Dunno

POPO: Where did you last see it?

Me: Hmmm … Little … Something Street …

And all of that thinking about not being able to find it – when we hadn’t even given it a name yet – reminded me again of when Mum lost her car. That was the first real red flag that Mum had dementia.

Which made me wonder if maybe, I too, have demen……? It was really scary, frustrating and demoralising not being able to remember where we had parked that car.

So if all of that wasn’t enough going on in my head, I also had – for no reason that I could fathom – Brooks and Dunn’s Boot Scootin’ Boogie playing on an endless loop.

There was sooo much going on in there!

You know how sometimes I look tired, and I say ”I’ve been awake since 4.00am thinking about things …”? Now you know 🙁

MBW finally woke up after I’d solved the big problems of the world. Ablutions were had, breakfast was consumed, and coffee was prepared and we caffeinated.

Into the car, Google Maps set for Portsea, and we were off.

The first big issue that we discussed was the name of the car. I thought that ”Storm” was a good name and a play on the fact that the car is white, but MBW didn’t agree. Eventually we settled on two candidate names: Buzz and Casper. I personally favoured Buzz because:

• We were buzzing around in it, and
• We were going to ”infinity and beyond” …

… but MBW preferred Casper. Voting rules are a little complex in our house – a little like politics in Zimbabwe where 1 vote doesn’t necessarily count as 1 vote – so let’s just say that MBW won the day and we are now getting around in Casper.

Now I have to pause for a moment and make a confession. When we picked up Casper yesterday we knew that he had Google and Apple Play built in. We had Googled it and confirmed and even stopped at K-Mart and bought the right cable to plug the phone in … but it would not work.

Would. Not. Work.

In the end, we did the only other thing that we knew how to do.

“Hey Google, take me to the nearest Toyota dealership”.

One minute. One. That’s how long it took the nice man in the service centre to fix it. Someone had plugged it into the wrong USB socket.

Here is a hint – I was doing the driving (the more difficult job), so it wasn’t me. 🙂

We set off down towards St Kilda then onward to Portsea.

Allow me to make a few observations about Melbourne.

I can’t believe how many luxury cars there are in Melbourne. Everywhere you look there is another BMW, Mercedes, Audi, Lexus … I honestly think I have seen about 7 Maseratis and many more Porsches in the last 2 days. I saw a Mercedes AMG today that looked like it belonged on a race track. Where do these people get their money?

I also can’t believe how hard it is to park your car somewhere without having to pay for parking. You want to stop and look at the Brighton Beach Boxes? You pay to park.

You want to go to a public toilet in a park on the beach road to St Kilda? You pay to park. You want to stop at the side of the road in St Kilda? You pay to park. You want to stop at a little lookout to take a photo down towards the Mornington Peninsula? You pay to park.

Everywhere!

We stopped at this little sculpture park in the middle of nowhere (part-way to Portsea), and we were quoted $6 each to park and for the opportunity to walk around in the rain looking at sculptures. NO thanks.

We jumped on the M11 and wound Buzz … er Casper up to 100km/h and set the cruise control.

Casper has some really neat features – an automatic handbrake that goes on and off when you start and stop the engine. Automatic headlights. Reversing camera. Google Play. Automatic high-beams. Radar controlled cruise control.

So we were barreling along the M11 and my phone rang with a number I didn’t recognise.

Me: Hello?

Voice: Hi, it’s Ozzie from Bargain Car Rentals.

Me (what I wanted to say): Is your name really Ozzie?

Me (what I actually said): How can I help?

Ozzie: Um, we were just wondering what car you have? Like the registration?

Me: I had a whole bunch of trouble getting this car.

Ozzie: Yes, I heard.

MBW: According to the paperwork the registration is 1WB4ST

Ozzie: Hmm. Can you tell me what the key tag says?

Me: Registration is 1WB4ST.

Ozzie: Hmm. Ok then. Enjoy your day.

Weird. Very weird. But they are going to have to prise these Corolla keys out of my cold, dead fingers …

Our first real stop for the day was just before Sorrento, a very pretty little township. Same as yesterday we got all of the seasons at various times including rain, sunshine, cold, colder, wet and cold, wet and sunny, windy.

The wind was pretty unpleasant, so we were back in jackets.

From there we took a really pretty drive down to the Point Nepean National Park and went for a walk down to the water and observation point.

It is spectacularly beautiful and clean, although it was very cold and windy with the occasional shower.

From the Point Nepean NP we drove along past some of the other lookout sites that gave amazing views of the coastline.

London Bridge is a rock formation very similar to what we saw at the 12 Apostles on the Great Ocean Road this time last year (November 2021).

By this time we were cold, wet, wind-blown and hungry so we headed back into Sorrento for lunch.

Two things about Sorrento …

Firstly it’s full of many of the name brand shops. It’s also one of those places where none of the cafes have prices on their food … I assume because if you have to ask how much, you can’t afford it anyway.

Due to a whole bunch of indecision, we had some nice hot chips from the local fish and chippery which were bad for the arteries but good for the soul.

And then we found the coolest thing ever – the Sorrento public toilets.

Yes I know that taking photos of public toilets puts me at risk of being placed on a police register and being electronically tagged, but they were so cool.

You press the button and this voice welcomes you in. The door locks, some soothing music starts playing, and when you are done and you wash your hands, the toilet flushes automatically.

Final stop for the day was Koonya Ocean Beach, about as far south as you can go on the Mornington Peninsula but again very pretty.

In other exciting news, Casper found his older brother.

From there it was a run home on the M11 back to St Kilda to pick up a couple of things, then home to Beach Street for dinner.

We finalised our RAT requirements, uploaded final documents and we are ready to sail. A few items of clothing got a wash so everything is clean and ready to go for the cruise tomorrow.

First thing tomorrow we take our bags down to the cruise ship, about 250m down the road, then Casper gets to go back home again.

We board around 12.30 and sail somewhere around 7.00pm tomorrow night.

If you are lucky there will be a post tomorrow, but then there will be radio silence for a few days while we are sailing the high seas towards NZ.

It’s been fun 🙂

TTFN

#G&KDoNZ2022

It seems that I am not very smart. Now I know that will come as a shock to those of you who think that I’m one of the smartest people you know.

Hey, some of you may think that I’m THE smartest person that you know. So this news may be distressing.

Sorry about that. I really am as dumb as a box of rocks.

Let me start at the start though.

The day started by being rudely awakened by MBW shaking me quite harshly at 2.30am. It seems that she had heard the alarm and been up and had a shower already, so she decided that it was my turn to get up.

So up, showered, and downstairs for a quick cold press coffee and Zach loaded us into his trusty steed to take us and our luggage to the airport. Today is the day that we fly to Melbourne to start our adventure – 2 days in Melbourne followed by 13 nights on a cruise to NZ.

Several weeks ago it seemed like a really good, prudent idea to book the 5.15am flight from Brisbane to Melbourne because it was cheap(er than later flights).

You know that there is something wrong though when the coffee shop at the airport isn’t open yet because it is not yet 4.00am 🙁

But we had coffee, and sat around at the airport gate until our flight was called. Row 17 meant that we had to go down the stairs and across the tarmac to the back entrance of the plane like the hired help.

We squeezed ourselves into 17A and 17B – knees jammed up against the seat in front and elbows firmly wedged by our sides. I’m certain that these plane seats are getting smaller!

Push back, take off, wheels up and before you knew it breakfast was being served. Orange juice and something hot and tasty, although I can’t be completely sure what it was. Ham and cheese and something with hollandaise sauce if I remember correctly.

Several things happened on the flight.

Firstly we were warned that ”smoking and vaping is always and never acceptable on the plane”. Always and never … that just left me confused.

What really impressed me was the lady sitting in front of me in 16C who was multi-tasking doing emails on her laptop while also watching a bunch of impossibly good-looking people on NCIS solve heinous crimes. That was a mystery to me, when I was just struggling to stay awake.

Flight QF605 to Melbourne was a … um, maybe a wide-bodied thing I think. Sorry, I’m not a plane guy 🙁

But it had WiFi. Not just “on the plane only” WiFi but full, high-speed internet access. How cool is that? I mean, I can’t get a decent internet connection on the train between Central and South Brisbane when I’m on my way home from work, but I can get full high-speed internet in a tin can, 8km above the surface of the Earth!

How cool is THAT?

When I wasn’t spying on the lady in 16C, I was doing some research on interesting and unusual Spotify playlists. And when I say ”interesting and unusual”, I actually mean “disturbing”.

There was a bunch of playlists that feature airline boarding announcements and music.

Then there was a podcast about a plane crash.

But the most disturbing of all is a musical group – I assume that they are a musical group – called ”Airline Food”. I can only imagine that they call themselves that because they don’t look very appealing. Sorry AF 🙁

We landed in Melbourne on time, found our way to the baggage collection area, and waited a very long time for our suitcases to make an appearance on the carousel.

Finally with all of our luggage present and accounted for, we set off to find the shuttle bus to take us to collect our car at some mysterious, off-airport location.

This is where it gets interesting.

When I booked the car, I had the choice of a Hyundai Ascent (“compact” class) for – don’t quote me – $115 for 2 days, or a Toyota Corolla (‘intermediate” class) for $132 for two days.

An intermediate class car has to be more comfortable that a compact – better for all that luggage too – so that was the choice. Paid, booked, good to go.

When we arrived at ”Bargain Rental Cars” (that should have been the first clue BTW), the transaction went swimmingly until the Bargain lady handed me my keys and announced that I was getting a Hyundai Ascent.

That then resulted in a short but robust discussion where I pointed out that if I’d wanted a Hyundai Ascent then I would have booked one for less money than I’d actually paid, but I had ordered a Toyota. The Bargain Lady (TBL) pointed out that you “don’t order a type of car, you order a class of car” and that the Hyundai and the Toyota are in the same class. Besides that, the only Toyota Corollas that they have are hybrids, and they cost waaay more than I’d paid.

Let’s just say that some words were said relating to the car, the class, and how much I paid, and none of this was helped by the fact that I’d been so rudely awoken at 2.30am and I was tired and grumpy.

Long story short, but she assured me that the Hyundai that I was getting was actually an ”intermediate” class vehicle because it has some added features like ”bluetooth and a reversing camera”.

So we went to the car – a rather beaten up, sad looking car with “added features” – only to find that it didn’t actually have a reversing camera.

Me: “Can you show me where the reversing camera is please?”

TBL: ”Oh, that particular model doesn’t have a reversing camera.”

Me: ”But you told me it has added features as it is an intermediate class.”

TBL: ”Yes that’s correct. It has features like Bluetooth and Google Play built in.”

Me: ”Can you show me how to set up Google Play?”

TBL: ”Oh, that particulate model doesn’t have Google Play.”

Huh? I mean, HUH?

Let’s just say that more words were spoken, and they suddenly realised that they had a near-new, only 14,000km on the clock, bright and shiny Toyota Corolla that ”just came in”.

Woohoo.

Call me stupid, but a car with no alleged features isn’t in the same class as one that does have the features, so either that ”idiot” light on my forehead was particularly bright today, or I am genuinely missing something.

Anyhow, let’s just say that we got what we wanted all along.

We had booked an AirBNB on Beach Road South Melbourne for a couple of nights before we get on the cruise on Friday. Dawn, the lovely and very obliging AirBNB host allowed us to come in early, so we swung by and dropped off our bags, then went exploring.

We wanted to go into the city and decided (rather stupidly) to drive in and try to find somewhere to park that wouldn’t cost a kidney. We found a 1 hour meter in Little … Something Street, paid our $7 and went for a maximum 1 hour walk.

A bite of lunch, jumper on, umbrella out, umbrella away, jumper off again … we walked the streets just trying to orient ourselves and before we knew it, it was time to head back to the car.

I mean, the last thing that we want is a parking ticket as a souvenir of our trip to Melbourne so we needed to be back quickly and on time.

Little … Something Street. Argh! I remember once that my mother couldn’t find her car and how distressed she was – although that was one of the initial signs that she was losing her memory. But this was genuinely scary.

All the streets looked the same, nothing matched our recollection of where we had left the car and we were walking in circles. It was raining and cold, then hot and sunny, then cold and sunny … jumper on, jumper off.

By this time we were almost 15 minutes past our time limit and having visions of never finding the car again – ever – because it had been towed away.

But we found it in Little Bourke Street! Just where we left it and with no obvious signs of a parking ticket.

Next stop was the Queen Victoria Markets (closed on Wednesdays!) so we decided to do a trip out to St Kilda instead.

We found a Macca’s coffee shop and had coffee then headed down further towards St Kilda.

St Kilda is one weird place.

From the huge rat that ran across the road in front of us, to the lady dressed as a unicorn eating KFC. Then there was the guy sitting on the footpath smoking a joint.

And don’t even get me started on trams in the middle of the road and hook turns.

Seriously messed up.

Back to our AirBNB and a quick walk out to Princes Pier to get the lay of the land in preparation for getting on the cruise on Friday.

That 2.30am start is catching up with me and I can feel my ability to behave rationally quickly slipping away, so we need to have some dinner and let off some ZZZZs.

We had planned to get something nice for dinner, but frankly the lack of sleep and difficulty determining the correct combination of clothing, umbrellas, jumpers, and wet weather gear is wearing us out. Plus it is 7.30pm and still bright sunshine … no wonder the curtains are faded!

It all got too hard and we had some breakfast cereal and yoghurt for dinner, but will try harder tomorrow.

Tomorrow will be a drive down the Mornington Peninsula, so that should be a fun day. Getting a satisfactory amount of sleep beforehand will only make me a much more pleasant travelling companion too 🙂

TTFN

#G&KDoNZ2022