I met her in a club down in North Soho, where you drink champagne and it tastes just like cherry cola

I have a confession. I have done something that I’m embarrassed about. Maybe even ashamed of.

I think that my boys would be ashamed of me too. Most of them. One of them not so much. He does it all the time.

I’m embarrassed to even put it in writing in the blog.

I’ll tell you about it later.

My last post was a little rushed. We were sailing out of San Francisco and two things were conspiring against me. Firstly I was rapidly running out of mobile/cell coverage, and if I didn’t post very quickly, it wouldn’t have happened.

Secondly, we were minutes away from the mandatory safety briefing and life jacket demonstration.

So I didn’t really even get a chance to proof-read the last post before publishing it. Hopefully it made sense.

Well, hopefully it didn’t make any less sense than anything else that I’ve posted.

Sailing out under the Golden Gate Bridge was absolutely amazing. Such a spectacular and iconic sight. Once in a lifetime.

It was also very windy and very, very cold. You might pick that up from the pictures.

We are onboard the Grand Princess. This vessel is no less confusing to find your way around that it was in NYC.

I understand that the ship has a pointy end an a blunt end, and I also know that by looking out a window you get an idea of the direction of travel. Water goes rushing past from the front to the back.

From there you can work out port side and starboard side, but inside the ship it is like a mirror image of itself, end to end. There is a staircase fore and aft but none midship, so you come down a flight of stairs and have to look out a window to work out what direction to head.

The number of times we have confidently walked towards the middle of the ship only to find ourselves at one end is unbelievable.

And some staircases only go down to level 6. So we are trying to get to the dining room on level 5 and we run out of staircase. We have to go back up a level, back to another staircase somewhere else in the ship and try again.

To be honest, I’m convinced that they move the dining room every night, because I’m sure it is never in the same place 2 days in a row.

There is a high proportion of Americans on board. I guess that’s to be expected on a cruise out of San Francisco.

Normally we opt to share a table for meals, so we get to meet new people every day. In fact, I’m trying to keep a mental image of the people that we have dined with, and I’m certain that I’ve never seen them again.

Many of the people that we have met are lovely, but I have to say that there are a few … weird ones … on board.

At dinner on our first night we met Frank, a guy about our age travelling alone. He is from Phoenix Arizona.

He asked a difficult question: What is an Australian’s stereotypical view of an American?”

I wasn’t really sure how to answer that and make it sound like a compliment. I suppose – to be honest – that my view prior to coming to the States would have been overweight, loud and obnoxious. I must say though my pre-conceived view is not entirely accurate, although many of them are overweight, and many are loud. Quite a few are both overweight and loud.

But I can’t say that I have found many to be particularly obnoxious. I can say that we have had a very pleasant experience here, particularly in California. The people have been very friendly, helpful, and accommodating.

Not gas station attendants so much. Nor rental company staff. But everyone else has been great.

So, back to the people on the cruise. There are lots of people roughly our age or older and it is nice swapping stories and understanding what life is like in the States.

Other than Frank, we’ve met a couple from Fresno, and a couple from Oakland (I thought she said Auckland initially), and a couple from Seattle. Quite a few come from around San Francisco.

There are lots of elderly people too, which is to be expected.

But there are also some quite unusual people.

There is one guy that I’ve seen a few times who wears an eyepatch. Maybe he’s a pirate. He doesn’t have a hook or a wooden leg, so I’m not really sure.

There are a couple of blokes that we saw who looked to me like ex-military. They just had that look about them.  Big, solid guys of about 60, with that military haircut.

Both wearing lots and lots of bling. Both wearing an enormous gold ring on their ring-finger with an enormous solitaire diamond set in it.

But what was really odd was they they were both getting around on these tiny, portable, electric scooters like they were disabled. Only they weren’t, because they would zip in, park their scooters, and hop off and walk away like everyone else.

Unusual.

Last night we had dinner at a table with 2 other couples and a single lady from Australia.

One of the couples seemed like real country hicks … you know the type – TV would stereotype them as a couple from somewhere like Kentucky. When asked if they wanted something from the bar to drink, he asked for a glass of milk.

OK.

I’m finding that I am starting to think and speak in American. Put it in the trunk. Stand on the curb. Call me on my cell.

There was one couple that we dined with on our first night:

Me: “How are you?”

Man: “I’m doin’ real good”

Hopefully you will never hear me say “I’m doin’ real good”. If you do, please slap me.

We purchased coffee cards prior to boarding which gives us 15 speciality teas or coffees each, plus unlimited brewed coffee.

I’ve discussed the medicinal benefits of caffeine in a previous post, so I’ve been self-medicating … and trying to confirm the meaning of the word “unlimited”.

I’ve also been taking my coffee with cream (as in “would you Ike that with cream and sugar?”)

So far so good with the unlimited brewed coffee, but I think I am going to have to back it off a bit before I get back home. I may be over-medicating.

This cruising is supposed to be relaxing.

You may recall from a few days ago that we went to Alcatraz and Lombard Street. That was a day when we hit a new all-time record and walked about 20,000 steps and my smart watch says I climbed the equivalent of 30 flights of stairs.

Yesterday was Friday, our first full day aboard and at sea all day.

Yesterday I did almost 15,000 steps and – wait for it – the equivalent of 58 flights of stairs. We have steadfastly refused to use the lifts on the ship, but 58 flights of stairs … no wonder my legs are sore and tired.

This cruise is different to anything that I’ve done before. Normally when we sail north the weather gets hotter the further north you go. Before long you are in shorts and a T-shirt. The weather is beautiful – perfect for sitting out on the sundeck.

While we are again sailing north, this time it’s getting colder as we get closer to Alaska.

According to the TV, it’s about 14 degrees outside. There are still people getting around in shorts and thongs, but TOTIL and I are wearing several layers and still feeling the cold. Up on the top deck the wind is almost cyclonic, and very cold.

Some people are still using the hot tubs up on the top deck. They must be insane.

This time we have taken a cabin with an obscured view. Even with the life raft out there, we can still see the water and we still get natural light, so it’s all good.

And it’s nice to know that there is a life raft nearby if we hit an iceberg.

OK, it’s confession time.

There is a theme each night on the ship. Tonight (Saturday) is formal night, but last night was Country and Western night.

Country and Western is not my favourite genre in music. Or clothing.

TOTIL and I went into the Explorer Bar after dinner and participated in part of a Country and Western trivia night. Then we sat through a band performing Country and Western music. There was lots of yee -ha-ing, woo-hoo-ing, boot scooting and foot tapping. 

I’ve never intentionally listened to a Country and Western band before. Maybe I never will again.

Lots of people came along wearing their best country and western outfits and got right into it.

And then they got up doing line dancing. You’ll be pleased to know – although probably not surprised – that I maintained some dignity and didn’t participate in line dancing. One has to draw the line somewhere.

Food has been excellent. Despite walking 15,000 steps and climbing 58 flights of stairs, I fear that 3 courses, 3 times a day is going to take its toll. And the unlimited coffee with cream isn’t helping.

I’ve been trying to get up early and walk 30-40 minutes around deck 7 each morning to try and minimise the damage, but I’m not so sure it will be successful.

I have a working theory that all of that chewing at mealtimes is also burning some additional calories.

I think I’m kidding myself.

Ciao

#G&KTAKEUSA