2 Aussie Nomads

Last day in Khao Lak.

Breakfast is the most important meal of the day, so that’s where we started.

MBW isn’t a big believer in a hot breakfast, but I don’t mind the occasional omelette with some bacon for breakfast – particularly when there is someone happy to make one for me each day, and I’m not expected to help with the cleaning up.

The bacon at the breakfast buffet is served both English style (soft) and American style (cooked to within an inch of its life), but it’s not good quality bacon, and despite sitting in a hot box, it’s not … hot.

But today, possibly as a farewell gift to me, there was also deep fried chicken pieces.

Will I never learn?

I only visited the buffet about 3 times today – once for the hot breakfast, once for the pastries, and once for the fruit.

I was trying to show some restraint, and I figured that’s a fairly balanced diet that covers most of the food groups.

Plus coffee. Of course.

After breakfast we went back to our room and gave our suitcases a pack. We then jumped into our swimmers and hit the pool for the very last time.

It seemed a bit cooler today. The heat wasn’t as oppressive and the pool felt delightfully cool for a change. Normally it feels like bathwater.

We finished at the pool around 11.30am. Officially checkout is 12.00 noon, but I think that keeping the good looking people around the resort is good for business. Fortunately they were happy to extend our departure time to 2.00pm, which gave us just a little bit more time and worked out better for us, under the circumstances.

Our flight from Phuket (HKT) to Singapore (SIN) doesn’t leave until about 6.30pm, so we don’t need to leave the Ramada until about 3.00pm for a 90 minute ride to the airport.

This is a lot of complicated planning when your brain has been on holidays for almost 2 weeks.

But the important point is that we could stay in the room until 2.00pm.

We were back in our room before 12.00, rinsed off all of the chlorine from the pool, got dressed into regular clothes, and went for a final wander around the streets of Khao Lak and back briefly to the local markets.

After we’d given our suitcases a final reshuffle and pack.

MBW was keen to buy a few last minute gifts for the grandies and we headed back to Mali restaurant for a snack.

We figured that we wouldn’t be getting anything to eat on the Jetstar flight, and leaving everything to chance of finding something edible and affordable at Phuket airport was a risky move.

As my mate Jack Reacher says, “eat when you can”.

Deep fried vegetable spring rolls, and satay chicken skewers.

I hope that nobody is keeping track of the number of times I use the words “deep fried” when I am discussing our diet, but it is concerning me.

Back to the hotel around 1.30pm and we had a final shower … the weather in Khao Lak was very hot after lunch, so you don’t have to do much walking around to find that you need to change out of your sweaty clothes and into something clean and dry.

And not stinky.

We gave the bags a final final pack, and checked the room to confirm we hadn’t left anything incriminating lying around – like the Oreos we’d stolen from the breakfast buffet in case we got hungry around smoko time.

Bags packed, and incriminating evidence destroyed (we put it through our digestive systems to ensure it would NEVER be found), and we headed out to reception to pay any outstanding balance for our account, and then wait for our ride who was due around 2.45.

The reception area is completely open (= not airconditioned = hot and humid), so the reception staff told us to wait downstairs in the airconditioned coffee shop. They said that they would call us when our ride arrived.

There was a weird-looking couple who just sat there and stared at us the whole time, which was pretty creepy …

Our driver (Sartik) arrived and we were notified, so we headed back up to reception.

Sartik (“call me ‘A'”) was … interesting. He found it hilarious to tell us that the 90 minute trip south to Phuket would take 3 hours today (meaning that we would likely miss our flight). When I asked him why so long, he said “only kidding” and then he laughed hysterically at his own joke.

Not funny ‘A’ .. we have a plane to catch!

Road rules in Thailand are unusual. And when I say unusual, I mean somewhere between non-existent and ignored.

‘A’ used a similar code with his blinkers as did our driver who took us to the Ramada initially – flick them on, flick them off … right blinker, left blinker – and speed limits were mostly ignored.

And one interesting concept I learned from ‘A’ was that rather than stop at a red traffic light, he simply sped up and turned on his hazard lights to warn everyone as he went sailing through.

Whatever works, I guess. I mean, it’s mostly only motorcycles and Tuk Tuks on the road, so it’s not like we were in any particular danger.

We were deposited safely at the Phuket International airport departure terminal, and relieved of the 1300 baht (about $56) we had agreed on for the trip.

We did our check-in to our Jetstar Asia flight, left our bags, and went in search of coffee.

We watched a Japanese woman arguing with the airline staff about something, which included lots of exaggerated eye rolling, arm crossing, and mouthing “that’s not my fault”.

Experience tells me that it’s never a good idea to upset the airline staff at the check-in counter for two reasons … firstly because they know people who work on the other side of the immigration counter, and you place yourself at risk of being “randomly chosen” for a full body cavity search.

And secondly, because I imagine it’s a relatively simple task for them to “divert” your bags to Iceland, and you’d be blissfully unaware.

We made it through customs and immigration, and we bought 2 cups of alleged coffee. I say “alleged” because while it looked like coffee, it didn’t smell of taste like coffee …

It seems that arrogance is the universal language of travellers in airport departure lounges, with the usual assortment of selfish, unacceptable behaviour experienced at the departure lounge.

I’m sure that it is not so combative in the Qantas Club, but alas … 🙁

I have to say that after Changi airport, Phuket International airport is a bit of a cesspool. It’s loud, dirty and with relatively few facilities … which is fine when you arrive into Thailand and you are looking forward to your holiday, but not so good at the end of your holiday when you are sadly waiting to depart.

Because we flew Jetstar, we were bussed out to our aeroplane that was waiting in the cheap section of the airport tarmac. No airbridge for us!

A full flight with insufficient legroom in cattle class, but we took off on time, and had a mostly uneventful flight.

Only a 2 hour flight, but we crossed a timeline, so it magically turned into a 3 hour flight and we landed at 9.30pm.

We arrived safely at Singapore’s Changi airport – as did our bags coincidentally – and we made it through customs and immigration without making eye contact with anyone. Experience tells me that eye contact can be easily misinterpreted to mean “I stocked up on cannabis while I was in Khao Lak, so pick me for interrogation” – so no eye contact meant that we escaped without being randomly selected for … whatever.

There was a great deal of immigration officers looking at their iPads, and then scanning the tsunami of people entering Singapore and sending the chosen ones over to have their bags searched … so they were obviously looking for someone but we didn’t fit the profile.

And we didn’t make eye contact anyway.

Bags collected, a quick scoot through the “Nothing to declare” line, and hey presto, we were lined up waiting for a taxi.

Our driver didn’t have a good grasp of English so we didn’t bother trying to engage him in conversation … other than “do you take credit card payments?” and “take us to the Hotel Classic please”.

We arrived at the hotel just after 10.00pm and feeling a little brain dead. And more than a little sad.

Room 202 was assigned and – similar to our last stay in Singapore – the room was tiny. Very clean and nicely presented, but if you brought a cat you wouldn’t have room to swing it.

The room was maybe 3m x 3m, although that might give you a sense of spaciousness. Most of the floor space was taken up by the bed with barely room to walk around the sides of the bed. Plus a tiny bathroom off to the side.

And that’s about it. Shower and a quick coffee. If I don’t have a coffee around dinner time I can pretty much guarantee that I’ll wake up the next morning with a bad headache. Yes, that sounds like an addiction to me too.

Into bed by 11.00pm, and off to the Land of Nod.

One more day until we are boarding the last flight home, but there are still things to do in Singapore before we go, so that will be tomorrow’s news.

Ciao

#Thailand2024

It rained last night, really heavily. It rained before dinner, and then again when we were going to bed at around 9.30pm.

Monsoonal, like the heavens had opened.

I have no idea what happened between 9.30pm and 6.00am because that sleeping tablet I took did exactly what it says on the label: “May cause drowsiness. Do not operate machinery or make important decisions.”

We were being picked up at 9.00am for a cooking class today, and we needed to get to breakfast early … so we were there at 8.00am.

An hour should be long enough for a healthy breakfast, right?

I had my now customary small omelette with some bacon, deep fried vegetables, and fish in garlic sauce.

So here is the dilemma … fish is brain food, and with the amount of fish I’ve eaten over the last week here in Thailand, you’d expect I’d be a genius.

I could be Professor Geoffius Sumner Millar asking “Why is it so?”

But if I was that smart, you’d think I’d realise that with my age and elevated cholesterol I’d know better than to eat anything deep fried at any time of the day, especially breakfast.

Why is it so?

Breakfast over and we were waiting out the front of the Ramada for our pick-up.

And right on 9.00am, a sleek, black, stretched Mercedes Benz rolled in the drive.

Actually that’s not completely true. I was black, but it was a Toyota Hilux. And when I say black, it was the shade of black that you get when your car has been parked outside in the tropical sun for the last 15 years.

Black-ish. But it had working air-conditioning.

A man hopped out and introduced himself as Jokie.

So off we went to the markets to buy stuff for our cooking class and lunch.

We had pre-ordered the following meals for our class:

• Mango sticky rice
• Stir fried chicken and cashews
• Pad Thai with chicken
• Pineapple fried rice with prawns

Jokie took us to the market and explained a lot of the ingredients to us, and we (he) made the purchases. I was a little worried about the chicken sitting out on a tray in the heat at the markets, but Joke didn’t seem overly concerned, so I decided not to be either.

I mean, salmonella isn’t fatal. Is it?

Purchases made, and we were back in the truck heading to his place, where he and his wife (Ning) run the classes. They have a maximum of 6 people in a class, with two classes per day, but we jagged a class by ourselves.

With a further explanation about the stuff we’d bought and how they related to each dish we were cooking, we were put to work cutting and chopping and seasoning and preparing.

Now I’m not going to insult your intelligence, nor embarrass myself, by explaining the cooking process except to say it was incredibly quick, and incredibly simple.

None of this fancy “stand on one leg while you stir counter-clockwise”; it was heat up an aluminium wok, throw in some oil, sizzle sizzle, and pull it out.

There was obviously some requirement that you cook some of the ingredients in the correct order, and for the correct length of time, but for someone who eats fish for breakfast everyday and is currently waiting for an invitation to join Mensa, counting to 10 while the vegetables cook only required a small portion of my brain.

Have you ever watched Masterchef and the judges rave about how amazing a traditionally cooked meal is? Well, that was our experience today.

The chicken and cashew stir-fry was just astonishingly good. As was the pineapple and prawn fried rice, and the mango sticky rice should have been illegal it was so good.

The Pad Thai was nice, but I’ve never been a big fan of PT anyway.

So after we’d cooked it, we got to eat it. Just the 2 of us.

We pleaded with Jokie and Ning to join us, but they wouldn’t.

It’s not everyday that you hear me say “I wish I hadn’t had that third croissant for breakfast”, but today was the day.

Actually, I wish I hadn’t had ANY breakfast today because lunch was so good.

They do all of their cooking outside, probably because their house is so small. We needed to use their bathroom when we arrived (3 mugs of coffee at breakfast will have that effect on you) and their building looked like a block of units (like a single story motel), and they lived in one of the units.

But their unit (house) couldn’t have been any bigger than a single car garage … it was tiny. In fact, I’m not even sure that they have a bedroom because they might have slept in the living room.

And they didn’t appear to have running water in the house, because we were shown how to scoop water from a bucket to flush the toilet.

In any case, they do all their cooking outside on a “stove”, like a circular clay pot filled with burning charcoal.

They use these aluminium woks to cook everything, and I don’t know I’ve ever seen them at home before… so we bought some at the market on the way home.

We also got the recipies sent to us, so we can’t wait to cook some tasty Thai food when we get home.

We were back at the resort by 1.00pm and we both decided to slip into something comfortable – like a coma.

15 minutes lying on the bed in the air-conditioning and regretting our overindulgence once again, and we squeezed ourselves into our swimmers and headed for the pool.

It’s interesting people-watching at the resort, and especially by the pool.

Although you have to be careful doing that, because you could end up wearing an ankle bracelet 😞.

Many people seem to leave common sense at home and forget they are in public.

I’ve previously mentioned people in their budgie smugglers/bikinis who should know better.

Then there are the (mostly) young and (mostly) attractive women who like to get about in those bikinis where the bottoms are so brief that it’s hard to tell if the owner is outside trying to get in, or inside trying to get out.

We had the fortune … er, misfortune … er, experience of following one of these ladies from the pool yesterday when we went back to our room. As luck would have it, she was ahead of us and going the same direction.

And when she started to climb the stairs ahead of us, it felt like I was watching a chipmunk at feeding time, right at eye-level in front of me.

It was rather … unnerving. Confronting.

I might need therapy.

And yes, I understand that may not be an image you care for, but I had to see it.

So we spent this afternoon sitting by the pool, and trying to avoid getting burned by the sun.

MBW read her book (I think she is on book #8 or 9 by now) and I checked emails.

I was also watching this woman in the row of recliners in front of us trying to complete a crossword in German.

Seriously? Crosswords are hard, so why make it more difficult for yourself by doing it in German?

Back to our room at 3.45 to make ourselves beautiful for cocktails. It was our last night for cocktails so we wanted to go out with a bang.

If not a bang, then maybe just a bit of a rumble.

Dinner tonight is the buffet again, although our inside sources told us that it will be “pasta, spaghetti, and pizza” tonight .. and our sources were correct.

Pasta was the last thing I felt like eating tonight, but I had a couple of slices of pizza, some icecream, and decided that was enough.

The fruit display gave us a chuckle though.

We got back to our room to find a lovely thank you letter from the resort, and a reminder that we have clocked up an impressive 620 baht in expenses since we’ve been here, which equates to about $26 – mostly for the 2 x 500ml bottles of water that we buy with dinner each night.

Last of the big spenders!

Tomorrow we can stay in our room until 2.00pm. Then we have a 2.30pm pick-up by some local -and highly recommended – taxi service to take us to Phuket airport for a 6.40pm flight back to Singapore tomorrow night.

Then a night and day in Singapore and we will be flying home on Thursday night, arriving roughly 6.00am Friday morning.

Hopefully Zach will remember to collect us from the airport.

But you’ll hear about that later.

Ciao

#Thailand2024

I’m not going to bore you with the details of our morning, but let me summarise.

Wake, shower, dress, breakfast, swimmers, sunscreen, swim, read, swim, nap, swim.

That brings us to about 1.30pm.

You may recall that yesterday we went to the markets to get some gifts for the grandies, but in a moment of monumental stupidity, we hadn’t realised that the markets were closed on Sunday.

So today we went back again for another crack, and managed to get a few last minute things.

It was quite cool this morning, but frightfully hot this afternoon. As well as gifts for our favourite little people (OFLP), we bought a can of Coke Zero and some icecreams.

I’m telling you, it was really hot.

We have had a week of “nothing to do, and all day to do it”, but today we had our scheduled Thai massage at the resort. The one that is included in the package.

We were booked in for 3.30, and we didn’t want to be late.

No sir.

So we went back to our room, peeled ourselves out of our sweaty clothes and both had a quick, refreshing shower ready to present ourselves for our massage.

They start you off with a cup of bael fruit tea which – if you believe the advertising – cures everything from heart disease and cholesterol, to haemorrhoids.

This was a Thai massage today. Pressure points, pushing, stretching. They have a room set up for couples massage, so we each got our own massage table and masseuse.

You know you are in for an interesting ride when your masseuse climbs up on the table with you so she can get better leverage. And I have to say it’s pretty daunting when you are lying on the table face-down, at your most vulnerable, and you can hear them moving about but you don’t know where they are or what they’re doing.

At one point she had me lying on my back with a blindfold thing over my eyes, and she brought my right foot up to meet my left knee, then pushed my right knee down flat on the table.

I have to say that the last time I was that flexible I would have been in nappies, and I’m fairly certain that particular movement was never considered as a requirement in God’s design specification for me.

But even scarier was when she twisted my leg one way and then put her foot against various parts of my leg and pushed.

Hard.

Which was somewhere on a spectrum between painful and downright scary.

And when she had worked her way up my leg to my groin – a bit too close to frank and beans for my liking – I was concerned that one wrong move and I’d be singing with the sopranos.

BTW, the frank and beans reference comes from a movie called “There’s something about Mary”. I’m not explaining it here.

Anyhow we survived, intact, and went straight to cocktails.

I had my customary Mojito (to calm my nerves today, more than anything) and MBW had something similar, but a different colour.

I booked our usual table for dinner, then we raced back to our room because there was a huge storm rolling in.

It is monsoon season I suppose, and we can’t complain about the lack of sunshine.

Back to our room to shelter from the storm and wait for dinner.

Before dinner, we wandered down and collected our washing for the grand sum of 115 baht (less than $5), and got some more cash from the local hole in the wall.

We decided to go Thai menu again tonight. MBW chose the Massamen Gai while I had “mild yellow curry with chicken and rice”.

The waiter – William – and I had a man-to-man chat about my curry being “Mị̀ p̄hĕd” (not spicy), and while it might have been mị̀ p̄hĕd in his universe, it wasn’t in mine.

It was very nice, but way too p̄hĕd for my delicate constitution. That should be interesting once it’s worked its way through my digestive system … and hopefully that won’t happen at 38,000 feet on the plane home.

Dinner over, and back to our room for coffee.

We are getting picked up out the front at 9.00am tomorrow for a cooking class, so we will need to set the alarm.

I slept badly again last night, so I’m going to be looking for some pharmaceutical assistance for some quality sleep tonight.

That’s about it for another day in Khao Lak.

Ciao from paradise.

#Thailand2024

I had a terrible sleep last night, which is not the way it’s supposed to work on holidays.

I felt like I was cooking in my own juices.

Because I woke and went back to sleep again so many times, I actually have no idea what time I eventually got up … but I assume it was our normal time … whatever that is.

We showered and got dressed for breakfast, and looked out another load of washing that needed to be done.

I thought I’d check the air-conditioning settings, because it felt way too hot in our room.

It turns out that someone must have changed the settings on the air-conditioner, because rather than being set to cool, 23 degrees, it was set to vent.

I’m not entirely sure what “vent” means, but I think that it is designed to draw the hot and humid air in from outside, and push all of the nice cool air out of the room.

Which explains the hot flushes I was having last night. I’m blaming the guy who turns down our bed each night.

The heat and humidity here means that you sweat through your clothes pretty quickly, so it’s hard to get more than a day out of a shirt or shorts. So after breakfast we went out for a wander to drop some clothes off for washing at a different place just outside the resort.

Just to clarify, there is no direct relationship between the cannabis place in the picture above, and getting our clothes washed … other than the fact that they were in close proximity to each other.

They will be ready for collection 6.00pm tomorrow night.

Our clean clothes, not our take-home cannabis.

The guy in the tailor shop (it’s a front for a Chinese laundry, I think …) was determined to measure me up for some nice shirts and a suit.

Top marks for effort and enthusiasm, but it was never going to happen, sorry.

Back to our room to get into our swimmers, apply sunscreen, and hit the pool.

Here is a quick quiz: what’s wrong with the photo below?

Answer: normal pH range is 7.2 to 7.8 and the Ramada pool is sitting at 8.2 today.

I wish I’d paid more attention in high school chemistry 😗

The morning was a rinse and repeat of previous mornings. Pool, read, swim, read, swim and back to our room about 12.30.

Another spectacular day in paradise, and the grounds and gardens are all very green, lush, and tropical. Here is a quick tour of the resort and gardens.

We had overheard some people in the pool talking about a nearby restaurant called Mali, so we thought we’d wander up there for a light lunch before heading to the markets to get some last minute gifts for the grandies.

The sky was looking very dark, so we took our umbrellas, and wore appropriate footwear for a change because we had a bit of walking to do.

So much for a light lunch … MBW had the duck with mango, while I had chicken massamen curry … and we gave the waitress strict instructions: “Mị̀ p̄hĕd” (not too spicy).

The food was excellent. Those two meals, plus rice to share, plus 2 bottles of water, plus a deep fried icecream for dessert and it cost us 559 baht (about AUD$24).

I don’t know how these people survive when every second or third shop is another restaurant.

Lunch consumed and it was only about 2.20pm. We were heading to the markets which don’t open until 3.00, so we have some time to kill … and then it started to rain.

We looked at a few souvenir shops on the way and made our way out onto the main drag heading back to Phuket.

You start to get a bit tired of saying “sawadeeka” (pronounced “sa-wad-dee-car” and meaning “hello”), but with it being low season here, and so many shops trying to separate you from your cash, they have to do something to generate business.

In the end we just decided to go into the markets early to see if they were open early … only to find that they don’t open at all on Sunday.

Bugger.

The rain caused the humidity to soar, and it became very unpleasant outside, very quickly. So we hussled back to our room to shelter in the air-conditioning … but we saw some interesting things on the way …

4.00pm is time for cocktails. And we don’t want to miss cocktails.

Although I may have made a tactical error this afternoon and accidentally ordered a second cocktail after my first one, so let’s just say that I wasn’t my best self by 5.15 😞

I needed to go back to our room for a rest in the air-conditioning.

So, how do you close off a day where you have eaten too much, and done too little activity?

You go to dinner. We broke the poor waiter’s heart tonight because we didn’t bother ordering entrees or desserts. Just mains … and we both only ate half of that.

Another magnificent sunset, and we retired to our room to hibernate.

We got back to our room to find that our anonymous friend who turns our bed down every night while we are at dinner left us some (I assume) sweets that we can’t quite identify …

… and …

… some wisdom.

I’m not sure that a good laugh and a long sleep are going to cure overindulgence.

We are going for our massage tomorrow, then our cooking class on Tuesday. Then Wednesday we head back to Singapore for a night, then home.

But that is still a few days away.

Ciao

#Thailand2024

I’m going to address one of life’s big questions today: how many croissants for breakfast is too many?

I didn’t have a great sleep last night. I felt like I was waking a lot, although I’m pleased to report that MBW says she slept well.

We started the day – as usual – with breakfast at the buffet although – in a change from routine – I decided against the omelette, bacon, dumplings and assorted stir fried foods on offer.

Just the continental breakfast for me today.

After breakfast we went out in search of our missing washing. Just a short walk down the road, and it was there waiting for us to collect (… which wasn’t what we were expecting, but for about AUD$6 you can hardly complain).

Back to our hotel room to get changed for the pool, and there was a knock at the door.

“Cleaning”.

Normally the cleaning lady comes while we are at the pool, but she was early today (or we were later than usual after collecting our washing) so we sat out on our little patio and waited while she made up our room.

I’ve mentioned the heat and humidity a few times on this trip. I’m not complaining (even though it can get pretty oppressive), but the biggest frustration is coming out of the 22 degree airconditioned comfort of our room into the outside 33 degrees and 90% humidity, to have your glasses immediately fog up.

First world problems.

Into our swimmers and down to the pool and we spent a lovely few hours watching the world go by, interspersed with dips in the pool.

It was very overcast all day with a threat of rain, but then you also know the story of the boy who called “wolf”. They have to get it right eventually, but will it be today?

I mentioned the other day about how you can’t drink the water. As I’ve said, that extends to brushing your teeth and any other potentially high risk activities … like eating lettuce.

While there is nothing inherently dangerous about eating lettuce, the real risk is if they have l washed the lettuce in tap water. And that is a risk that I’m not willing to take.

Except I think I may have had some lettuce at the buffet last night, because I was getting the distinct feeling that I had a case of Bali Belly on the way … well at least the Thai equivalent of Bali Belly.

Same symptoms, different country, and an equal amount of unpleasantness.

MBW tells me that I am starting to get brown. We apply liberal amounts of sunscreen before going to the pool, wear a hat, and try to stay in the shade, but spending hours in the pool is undoubtedly going to wash the sunscreen off eventually.

I’m not too concerned about getting some colour, although it has both advantages and disadvantages.

In the “minus” column, I have a skin check a couple of weeks after we get back, and Dr R is certainly going to notice I’ve been in the sun while I’m parading around in my undies … and I’m sure we will have words about that.

But in the “plus” column, I may be able to make a native title claim. Winner!

Back to our room and into our regular shorts, T-shirts and inappropriate footwear, and we went out for a walk.

MBW wanted to get a massage which was OK with me, but I was still feeling a bit blah, so I was going to sit this one out.

It’s a bit risky having a Thai massage (which can be quite intense) while your tummy is gurgling … just in case something comes out. You know what I mean.

We found the massage place we were looking for and MBW went in for an oil massage for the grand sum of 500 baht (about AUD$21) while I waited in the husband parking area and checked emails.

Back again to the cool sanctuary of our room, and I made myself a coffee … which is the universal solution to most problems.

In my world, anyway.

I don’t know where the time went but before we knew it, it was time for cocktails again.

Cocktails are always at the pool bar unless it’s raining …

…but they obviously didn’t get that memo.

It wasn’t raining heavily, and my Mojito took away any residual disappointment.

I’m concerned that my daily Mojito could become habit forming. When I am next pulled over at home for a RBT and asked when I had my last drink, I can no longer honestly answer “1984”.

MBW was keen to do a Thai cooking class. There is one nearby here that gets very good reviews, and they pick you up, drop you back, and you get to eat what you’ve cooked.

Which could be a good thing, but also might not be a good thing. It all depends on various factors.

The class is 1500 baht each (about AUD$65 each, when you consider 100 baht is a bit over AUD$4.00). But she only takes cash, and we don’t have that much cash spare.

But we do have a Suncorp Visa Debit card, and there is an ATM just around the corner from our resort. Withdrawing money from an ATM in Thailand is surprisingly similar to withdrawing cash in the mother-land, except you have to make triple sure that you have your facts straight because typing in “3000” as the withdrawal amount is a little daunting.

And while we told most of our banking institutions that we were about to go overseas, we didn’t mention it to Suncorp.

And we don’t want to set off any alarms at Suncorp HQ.

So we got our cash, confirmed our booking for cooking, and headed straight for dinner. It was close enough.

Another truly spectacular sunset, and I think I upset our waiter by telling him I wasn’t ordering dessert tonight because I had to draw a line somewhere.

And that’s about it.

Back to our room for coffee, then showers and bed.

And to answer the big question of the day, the answer is 4. Or maybe 5. Possibly 6.

Croissants for breakfast, that is.

Don’t judge me. I also had some fruit.

Ciao

#Thailand2024

It was a pretty lazy day today.

Yep, I know that every day has been a lazy day here in Khao Lak, but today we took lazy to a new level.

Woke, showered, and off to breakfast.

Today at breakfast I had the omelette (again), but today they had fish cooked in an orange sauce.

Now I know what you are thinking – fish in orange sauce for breakfast is a loooong way away from the usual Just Right with strawberries and yoghurt.

But the fish was really good.

And they have papaya here too, and it is sooo good. I love papaya, and croissants, and … well, and a lot of things.

I don’t expect I’ll have fish in orange sauce for breakfast when we get home, but when in Rome …

It’s just another one of those mysteries of life .. like why did Japenese kamikaze pilots wear helmets? For head protection?

Anyhow, we overindulged for breakfast (again), went back to room 5204 and put on our swimmers and sunscreen (again), and found some nice recliners by the pool (again).

We thought that the weather looked a bit iffy today, but by the time we were at the pool it was just another day in Paradise.

We got to the pool around 9.30am and probably stayed until about 1.30pm, with our time split between reading our books and floating in the pool. There may have been a nap in there, too …

I organised some mango sticky rice for MBW for lunch, and we were back in our room by about 2.30 for a rest.

Doing nothing can be tiring.

Cocktails at 4.00pm again and I tried a Cuba Libre for a change. I’ve just finished a Nelson DeMille novel called “The Cuban Affair” and they drank Cuba Libres all the time, so … this was research.

Dinner at 6.15pm. Tonight, rather than the Western menu versus Thai menu, they had a buffet. Actually the standard menu choices were unavailable, and it was buffet or nothing.

Yes, I know that “buffet” is code for “DANGER!”, but I was careful and didn’t eat too much. It was really good!!!

It’s probably just as well I’m not Jewish, because I seem to have eaten a lot of pork over the last few days.

Pork satay kebabs, pork in sweet and sour sauce …

I saw a cat on the beach which was concerning, but then I figured it is better to see it on the beach than on the menu.

If you know what I mean …

The usual amazing sunset, then we decided to go for a quick stroll on the beach, only to find that there was a fire show going on at the resort next door.

All very interesting and entertaining, but if you did a risk assessment on that, you’d probably reconsider it.

And that is about it for the day.

I wasn’t kidding the other day when I said that life here in Khao Lak is sleep, eat, swim, cocktails, eat some more, and repeat.

Ciao

#Thailand2024

There are a few things that you shouldn’t do in Thailand.

You don’t drink the water. You are specifically warned NOT to drink the water. I’m not sure whether the locals drink it, but all travel sites specially warn that it is not safe to drink. 

Not only is it not safe to drink, but you don’t even use it to brush your teeth – they give you bottled water for that. 

Unfortunately it is pretty easy to forget … you brush your teeth, run your toothbrush under the tap and pop it back in your mouth … and WHAM!

I can’t remember which end it all comes out of – poo or spew – but I recall that it is a swift and sure way to offset the damage done from overeating. That extra 2kg you put on is gone, just like that. BAM!

Nudity is also not allowed because the locals are quite strict and religious. I assume it is allowed in the privacy of your own bathroom, but not on the beach. 

They probably should extend that rule to people who are old enough to know better, but walk around the pool in their way-too-brief budgie smugglers and bikinis. 

If you are more than 5 years old, or weigh more than 100kg, cover it up because we don’t want to see it. 

Because you can’t un-see it!

You also probably don’t want to ignore the Tsunami evacuation route signs, because … well, because. Getting washed away by a Tsunami is not on my bucket list, especially when I don’t have my boogie board with me.

We started the day with a healthy breakfast. I’m still not sure why I had (or enjoyed) an omelette with a side of bacon and fish in orange sauce, but it was good. 

And fish is brain food, so I’ll make better decisions. 

Today is our second full day here at Khao Lak. Yesterday we found ourselves a couple of recliners and lazed by the pool for a few hours. 

Today I got a memo that MBW wanted to get a recliner on the beach. Now there are a couple of problems with that. 

Firstly, as beautiful as Thailand is, the beaches here are nothing compared to Surfers Paradise. We have the best beaches in the world on our doorstep, and I’m not sure that we realise – or appreciate it. 

But my bigger concern was Greenpeace. 

I don’t know if they are active here in Thailand, but I was genuinely concerned about waking up from a nap on my recliner and finding a bucket brigade trying to keep me cool, while their colleagues try to roll me back into the ocean. 

But then I realised that the people more at risk – the truly fat people – are the ones who also have poor judgement and lie on the beach in their way-too-brief swimwear.

We spent a lovely couple of hours at the beach, went for a dip in the ocean .. which was hotter than body temperature and really quire rough … before retreating to the pool again.

Another forecast of rain, yet another spectacular sunny day. Weather forecasting is obviously a black art practiced all over the world. 

Back to our room for a freshen up and to get dressed, and we went out for a walk. 

There were a coupe of places that MBW had marked in Google Earth that she wanted to look at, so off we went. It looked like we’d be walking some distance today, so joggers were the preferred footwear over thongs.

It was really hot today. At one point my phone’s weather app reported that it was 33 degrees that felt like 40, and it sure felt like 40.

We’d been out browsing through souvenir shops for about an hour and the heat and humidity was starting to get to us. 

Being the safety conscious and risk averse people that we are, we decided to take shelter in a gelato shop … for our own protection, of course.

I really don’t understand how any of these people make any money, or even survive. 

Every single store front is either a Cafe, massage establishment, or souvenir shop, with the occasional gelato shop or cannabis dispensary thrown in.

Most of the owners either sit outside or the heat and tout for business as you walk past, or they sit inside with the lights and air-conditioning off (to save money, I assume), then rush around turning on lights and fans when you enter. 

We found a 7-Eleven so MBW could buy some shampoo and conditioner (… and chips and chocolate and …) then we found a little (huge, actually) market and browsed for gifts for the grandies. 

Spoiler alert: the grandies get spoiled, while our kids get nothing.

MBW practised her negotiation skills and managed to get some good bargains … well I assume they were good bargains, but all of that smiling could have been translated to “stupid tourists”.

It really was seriously hot, so we made our way back to the Ramada to shelter in the cool of our room until it was time for our grand entrance at 4.00pm cocktails. 

We had a table booked for dinner at 6.15, so we got our usual table and discussed whether to risk the Thai menu again, or revert back to the Western menu. 

You will recall that I have previously spoken about the young women in Singapore who set up every photo of themselves to capture themselves with their best pouty, hair-flicky best. Well, they crazy followed us to Khao Lak. 

Sitting at our dinner table we had front row seats to a self-absorbed crazy woman who not only got her significant other to take dozens of photos of her in all sorts of poses on his phone, but he then gave her the device so she could critique them and tell him how to do better.

We decided on the western menu again tonight, and I think we chose badly 😢. 

The food was OK, but we have had much better food, many times at other places and at other times. 

C’est la vie. It’s not like we needed to eat.

We’ve also noticed some tattoo joints around here, and we kicked around an idea about getting matching tattoos. This trip is partly post-retirement, partly MBW’s 60th birthday, and partly our 40th wedding anniversary, so we wondered about surprising the kids by coming home with some ink.

Do we get 2 halves of a love heart, or maybe something to recognise 40 years of marriage. 40 in Roman numerals is XL … which is also a reminder that my XL sized clothes are at risk of no longer fitting … so maybe we will scrap the tattoo idea after all.

And that’s about it for the day. More than 8000 steps which isn’t bad, but still feeling pretty relaxed.

Sleep, eat, swim, cocktails, eat, repeat.

We get to do it all over again tomorrow.

Ciao

#Thailand2024

Our first full day in Khao Lak. I slept the sleep of the dead, but woke early. It was dark – maybe around 6.00am.

I managed to go back to sleep for a short while and woke up with the daylight, maybe 30 minutes later. 6.30am in Khao Lak, but 9.30am in Brisbane.

MBW was still snoring sleeping, so I got up and read my book for a while. I’ve started rereading a Harry Bosch book, and once I’d started I needed to see how it ended (again).

There are a number of perks to staying here on this deal that we have. 8 nights in Khao Lak with the “all you can eat” buffet breakfast, plus lunch or dinner every day, plus 2 x 1 hour massages, and the scary airport transfer where 90km/h is the new 50km/h and you use a confusing system of turn signals.

MBW finally woke, showers were had, and we made our way to breakfast.

Now I don’t know about you, but I consider “all you can eat” to be a personal challenge … and I was going for a PB. That’s Personal Best.

We spent about an hour at breakfast, eating our way through the buffet and trying to figure it all out … wondering about some of the more unusual things on the buffet.

Like dumplings. I mean, I like dumplings, and I will often make them on Saturday nights when it’s my turn to cook … but for breakfast? 2 different kinds of shrimp dumplings, and one kind of pork.

And cheese and crackers. Pumpkin seeds. Fish in some unknown sauce.

Coffee. I know that one, so no confusion there.

It appears to me that the most common nationalities here are English (including Australian), Germans, and Thai. So they had everything to make each of those nationalities feel right at home.

The first order of business after eating our own body weight in breakfast food was to slip into our swimmers and go sit by the pool.

The forecast was for rain and thunderstorms, and my phone’s weather app was very helpful in advising me that the rain would stop shortly.

The water in the pool was absolutely stunning – crystal clear, just the right temperature … and – I can only assume – most people sleep in really late and don’t emerge until lunchtime, because the pool was mostly empty.

A few kids too, so I imagine that there was also some … nope, doesn’t matter. Best not to think about it. I’m sure that the chlorine will kill it.

After 3 hours at the pool we went back to our room, showered, changed, and got ready to go out for a walk.

We had promised ourselves that if we had a big breakfast, we wouldn’t need lunch … which is good in theory, but flawed in practice.

Our tiny little brains told us that it was lunchtime, and the place directly across the road from the Ramada is highly rated on the Intergoogle, so we thought we’d pop in and check out the menu.

So we ordered lunch – Pad Thai and Pineapple something-or-other that came in a half a pineapple.

It was really good … we didn’t need to eat, but it was still really good.

Next stop was a bit further up the road where we had heard that there was a place that can do your laundry cheap, and also do massages.

I’m not entirely sure that I understand the connection between laundry and massage, but … when in Rome.

We dropped off our laundry and went next door to the massage place – I’m not going to say “massage parlour” because that just sounds creepy – and I signed up for a neck and shoulder massage while MBW signed up for a pedicure.

Clearly biology is not something that the massage lady understands, because I was told to “take off shirt, take off shorts” and I wondered if maybe it was actually a massage parlour and I was about to get way more than I bargained for. Which incidentally I did (get more than I bargained for), but it was a full Thai massage that I got, rather than just neck and shoulders.

I’m not sure if there was something lost in translation, or whether this was just one of those “would you like fries with that” upsell moments and I nodded at the wrong time, but when she started to massage my feet I figured that I was getting the works. Not just neck and shoulders.

We clearly hadn’t thought this through. Remember the all you can eat buffet breakfast, followed by a period of intense inactivity (sitting by the pool), followed by lunch that I didn’t need to eat?

Lying on my stomach on a hard massage table wasn’t exactly the comfortable start of a relaxing massage that I had anticipated. But we do what we have to do … lie there and think of England.

I have been pretty sore and tight, so it was a nice massage … until it stopped being nice and became more torture than fun.

She certainly found all of the sore spots in my back and shoulders, but when she climbed up on the table with me and drove her elbows into my back and shoulders with her whole body weight behind it, it started to become unpleasant.

And when she crouched down beside me and bent my head and neck over her knee while jamming her elbow into my neck, I wished that I’d checked our travel insurance first to know whether paraplegia at the hands of a crazy Thai masseuse is covered … because I was sure that’s where I was heading.

I think it was Friedrick Nietzsche that said “whatever doesn’t kill you will only make you stronger”, and I figured that if this didn’t kill me then I’d be really strong!

We checked out some of the little souvenir shops on the way back to the resort, and found a mini mart to buy some milk for evening coffee, then made it back to our room with no further incident or pain. Just a promise that our laundry would be returned to us at 9.00pm tomorrow night.

She probably wanted to see if I was still a functioning human being after that massage, or if she could keep our clothes.

The afternoon consisted of another period of intense inactivity … we had a nice rest in our air conditioned room to escape the heat and humidity.

4.00pm is drinks time, so we staggered back down to the pool bar and had a couple of cocktails and mocktails.

5.00pm we were back to our room to make ourselves beautiful for dinner.

Last night we made the mistake of sitting near a speaker blaring music, so conversation was mostly nonexistent or impossible. Tonight we requested a table at the far end of the restaurant and it was much better.

And what a view … watching the sunset over the water, something we never see in Brisbane.

They have two menus that we can choose from – a western menu and a local Thai menu. Last night we had western so tonight we went Thai … and it was a bit of a disappointment. Clearly Australian Thai food is very different to traditional Thai food.

Dinner consumed, belts loosened and we staggered our way back to our room for coffee.

And that’s about it. We did very little of value, other than eat (and eat, and eat …) and contribute to the Khao Lak economy through our $8.00 load of washing and our $17.00 massage.

Maybe we will do it all over again tomorrow …

I could get used to this.

Ciao

#Thailand2024

We had a bit of an epiphany yesterday, and like many epiphanies, it wasn’t a good one.

We had a closer look at the T&Cs of our 2 day MRT pass and discovered that “2 days” doesn’t appear to mean 48 hours, it means that day 1 ends at midnight of the first day that you used the card.

And we first used the cards at about 10.00pm on Sunday night, so day 1 was all of about 2 hours in duration.

And that means that our handy dandy unlimited MRT cards will probably not work when we need to head to the airport today to fly to Thailand.

C’est la vie.

We got up early – although we didn’t set any Olympic records – and we finalised our packing and went exploring Singapore again. Our flight is about 2.00pm, so we needed to be at the airport by 12.00 noon, so we needed to leave the hotel by 10.30am or so.

A search of the Intergoogle tells us that Raffles Hotel is about 500m away, and that there are a couple of good coffee shops and bakeries on the way.

And we do like coffee and pastries.

So off we went. Most of the shops in Singapore seem to open quite late, so it can be challenging to find a coffee shop that is open before 9.30 or 10.00am … which is kinda crazy because if I haven’t had coffee well before 10.00am, I can be rather unpleasant to be around.

But we found one and got our Java hit, then went walking.

We found an unusual shopping centre that was a building inside another building, which was interesting …

… then we found a bakery (French, I think), and their pastries looked amazing.

Only one guy in the line ahead of us, and somehow he managed to choose every single pastry that we wanted to get … and of course there were none of any of those left over for us 🙁

But that’s OK, because we still got something and it was still really good.

Onwards towards Raffles.

Raffles is the quintessential British upper class establishment where you can sip cocktails. It is an absolutely spectacular building that appears to take up a whole city block, and is clearly no place for riff raff Aussies like us.

In fact, while we were able to walk around and take some photos, we didn’t bother trying to get inside because we didn’t want to face the humiliation of being asked to leave.

So that was all we really wanted to achieve today, other than getting to the airport on time and not missing our flight.

Back to our TTHR to collect our stuff …

… and we were back to being subway ninjas.

Unexpectedly, our unlimited 2 day MRT passes still worked, so either:

• They really do work for 48 hours, or
• We completely misread and misunderstood the rules, or
• They assume that if you buy a 2 day pass that you won’t try to use it on day 3.

Who knows?

Changi airport is like a city. I’m sure that there is a movie theatre in there, and possibly a hotel where you can sleep the night. It is a seriously impressive and well run airport.

There are 4 terminals, and the MRT drops you at T2 while we needed to get to T4 … so onto a bus …

Not only is Singapore incredibly clean and tidy, but the people are so polite. A man got off the shuttle bus ahead of me and I inadvertently stepped in front of his wife/significant other as I was trying to get 2 suitcases off the bus.

He turned around and I figured he was about to tell me to get out of the way … but no, he helped me with my luggage!

Anyhow, luggage checked in with the assistance of a very friendly and helpful airport person (take note, Australia!) and we grabbed a bite of lunch and went through customs and immigration.

Singapore to Thailand is only a 2 hour flight, so we went to the gate, topped off our water bottles from the free chilled water taps, and our flight took off on time.

Take note, Australia!

The Jetstar flight was only about half full, so we got to stretch out.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again … Thailand knows how to do hospitality.

The process through the airport was quick and easy. Our stay at the Ramada included a transfer from the airport to the hotel (about 1.5 hours drive north of the airport), and they were waiting for us and ready to go.

The trip was … interesting. Our driver didn’t speak English, and he either didn’t understand speed signs, or the rules don’t apply here.

He sat on 90km/h all the way from Phuket Airport to Khao Lak, regardless of the posted speed limit signs … even through a township that had a 50km/h posted limit.

And he had some kind of code using his indicators to tell everyone that he was passing another vehicle even though we stayed in our own lane. And when he touched the brakes, he also put on his hazard lights.

Interesting.

Anyhow we got to the Ramada at Khao Lak, checked in and were taken to our room with enough time to get down to free flow drinks at the pool bar from 4.00pm to 5.00pm.

Our room is nice, the weather is spectacular, and I can’t think of anything I’d rather than be doing than sitting by the pool.

I could get used to this.

Ciao

#Thailand2024